Sunday, June 28, 2009
I totally stole this photo from Muffintopless because I wanted to fantasize about how hot I would look in a SlimPerfect little black dress. I would totally check myself out if I saw me wearing this at BlogHer. Of course, I'm hoping that wearing the dress will shrink my arms and legs and grow my boobs to the size shown on that body. But if that doesn't happen, the SlimPerfect dress is still All Kinds of Awesome.
All you blogging chicks, listen up! BlogHer '09 is less than one month away, and the question on everyone's lips is..... what do I wear? Especially for the all-important BlogHer parties (and oh sweet Jesus, there are so many of them)?
But I haven't bought a little anything in years, and I'm not sadistic enough to try and squeeze into one of my pre-baby little black dresses. And there's no way in hell I'm going to lose the thunder thighs or tummy flab before the big party night. So what does a girl who's a cheapskate, figure conscious, swag ho, lover of bloggy giveaways and contests, do? Why, join the Little Black Dress Model Search contest, of course!
The awesome ladies of Muffintopless and Girlfriendology have partnered with Slimperfect to find four fabulous, fine (but not-too-fit) ladies to become Slimperfect models during the BlogHer '09 conference in Chicago. Don't worry, the winners won't be pushing the bounds of public decency by wearing a few pieces of lycra held together by safety pins. Slimperfect will be providing these 4 ladies with the perfect Slimperfect Little Black Dress that skims over the bulges and holds you in, as well as a $250 Slimperfect giftcard and a makeover for BlogHer party night (July 23). And that's why I'm throwing my name in the hat: I want one of those babies, and I want to live like a rock star for a night!
So without further ado, here are 10 Perfect Reasons why I would be the perfect '10' Slim Perfect BlogHer model:
1) I'm not slim and I'm not perfect.
2) I gave birth to twin sons weighing 6 lbs. 10 oz. and 7 lbs. 5 oz., and I haven't lost the baby weight yet... and that was 5 years ago.
3) I never in my life thought there was such a thing as a saggy belly button.... until I saw my own.
4) My stomach is bigger than my boobs.
5) My thighs are bigger than my husband's.
6) When I suck my tummy way, way in, I think I look hot -- but I would pass out after a couple of seconds, so I need SlimPerfect to suck it in for me.
7) The only jiggling I want to see on me are the tassels on my cone bra when I do a Madonna striptease for my husband (yes, I bet that's more than you wanted to know......)
8) I promise to get my act together and post a possibly humiliating but probably funny YouTube video before July 10.
9) I want to look Slim Perfect for BlogHer... and beyond.
10) I sure could use some help from SlimPerfect to help me find my inner BONGGA mom!
The four most enthusiastic contestants get to be SlimPerfect for BlogHer, so if you want to help 'lil 'ol Bonggamom win this Little Black Dress, just send out this tweet:
@muffintopless @girlfriendology Please make @bonggamom look hot for #blogher by making her SlimPerfect!
Thanks to Slimperfect, Muffintopless and Girlfriendology for the fun contest and the chance to win!